The soldiers get ready to fight,
With the fear and their powerful heart.
Waiting for the sign, when to start,
Ready to fight,
Ready to die.
BANG! BANG!
The sound of the machine guns,
The sound of the tanks.
The soldiers start to run,
Shooting at their enemies.
BANG! BANG!
Soldiers get shot and die,
Blood everywhere,
Dead bodies everywhere.
One by one, soldiers fall down dead.
BANG! BANG!
The houses get destroyed
People scream and die.
Some people start to run,
Far, far away.
Finally, the Great War comes to an end,
Everything becomes a disaster.
Blood everywhere,
Dead bodies everywhere,
And silence everywhere…
By: Yoon Ah Shin
Images from:
3 comments:
I love the repetition; how you used 'Bang Bang' as the starter of all the stanzas. It unifies the poem together and makes it very effective. Every time the gun shoots, things happen. Your poem is very effective. Nicely done!
I think you should have shown imagery instead of speaking at third person. But I like how you explained. I also like the onomatopoeia effect of "BANG BANG!". I think that really depicts the poem really well.
I like the 'BANG!' (Onomatopoeia)
I saw many repetitions on your poem.
Also your line breaks were good, it helped me to draw the picture in head. I think it would be better if you use some Rhyme to make your poem more effective, strong and interesting.
Post a Comment